Frank Zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve Vai (guitar)
Ray White (guitar, vocals)
Tommy Mars (keyboards)
Chuck Wild (piano)
Arthur Barrow (bass)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Jay Anderson (string bass)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Ike Willis (vocals)
Terry Bozzio (vocals)
Dale Bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon Murphy Brock (vocals)
Bob Harris (vocals)
Johnny "Guitar" Watson (vocals)

THING-FISH:
Welcome to the QUENTIN ROBERT DE NAMELAND VIDEO CHAPEL OF ECONOMIC WORSHIP!

ENSEMBLE: (singing)
Some take THE BIBLE
For what it's worth
When it says that THE MEEK
Shall inherit THE EARTH
Well, I heard that some Sheik
Has bought New Jersey last week,
'N you suckers ain't gettin' DOODLY!

Is all de MAMMYS really wrong,
If we's wandrin' aroun'
Wit' de nakkin on?
Big ol' lips like a duck,
While we's singin' dis song,
(EVIL PRINCE, people, he cain't do NOTHIN'!)

THING-FISH:
You say yo' life a 'BUM DEAL',
'N yo' 'UP AGAINST DE WALL'?
Well, people, you ain't got no kinda
'DEAL' at all!

Now de shit dey be doin'
Down in WASHINGTUM,

ENSEMBLE:
Dey just takes care

THING-FISH:
Dey takin' care

ENSEMBLE:
Of number one

THING-FISH:
O' 'NUMBER ONE',

ENSEMBLE:
An' 'NUMBER ONE' ain't YOU!

THING-FISH:
Oh no! It ain't you or you!

ENSEMBLE:
YOU ain't even 'NUMBER TWO'!

THING-FISH:
(Push de button, pull dat chain,
Out come dat lil' brown
Choo-choo train!)

ENSEMBLE:
Those JESUS-FREAKS,
Well, they're friendly, BUT,
The SHIT they BELIEVE
Has got their minds ALL SHUT,

An' they don't even CARE
When 'THE CHURCH' takes a 'CUT'!
(Ain't it BLEAK when you've got so much NOTHIN'?)

THING-FISH:
So whaddya do?

ENSEMBLE:
EAT that PORK!
EAT that HAM!
Laugh till ya choke
On BILLY GRAHAM!
BROWN MOSES, AARON, 'n ABRAHAM:
They're ALL a waste of TIME,
'N it's YOUR ASS that's ON THE LINE!

THING-FISH:
Wohhhhhh, heah me talkin' to ya, now,
IT'S YOUR ASS THAT'S ON THE LINE!

ENSEMBLE:
Do what you WANNA,

THING-FISH:
Ohh! Do what ya wanna!

ENSEMBLE:
Do WHAT YOU WILL,

THING-FISH:
Do what you will!

ENSEMBLE:
Just DON'T MESS UP

THING-FISH:
Don't mess it!

ENSEMBLE:
YOUR NEIGHBOR'S THRILL,

THING-FISH:
Dat's right!

ENSEMBLE:
'N when you PAY THE BILL,

THING-FISH:
Aww, when y'pay de bill

ENSEMBLE:
Kindly LEAVE A LITTLE TIP,

THING-FISH:
One-Adam-Twelve

ENSEMBLE:
And help the NEXT POOR SUCKER

THING-FISH:
See de sucker

ENSEMBLE:
On his ONE WAY TRIP!
(SOME TAKE THE BIBLE!)

THING-FISH:
Aw, gimme a half a duzzning fo' de hotel ruim!